Saturday, October 1, 2011

Time out for Women

I am been a real slacker in my blogging lately, because I haven't been able to get pictures onto my computer and I have a hard time sometimes coming up with something to say, but I have a little down time and I just had such a great experience when I went to Time out for Women (with a couple of really great friends and 2 of my amazing sisters) and so I thought I would do something a little different and post straight from my journal (which I wrote in right after I got back so I could remember my feelings a little better).

This weekend was a really amazing one! I just got back From TOFW and that whole event could have been made just for me. The theme was the prospect of what we can become. Some of the topics covered were things like: self-worth, overcoming adversities, motherhood, faith, life is NOT a contest and the importance of our choices. HIT HOME!!

I felt like specific messages were worded perfectly to my understand. Everything felt relateable. It's interesting too, I didn't end up leaving feeling like I needed to change everything in my life and do more, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was worth a lot and more importantly that I was worth a lot to Heavenly Father. I think something I thought about was the phrase "Life is not a contest." I really feel that a lot of the time. I want to have it all and then when I look around me and see someone skinnier, or more domestic, or more righteous and I feel like I'm lacking and have something to prove. I think I'm starting to better realize that I have a purpose and how can anyone love me for who I am, if not only do I not love myself for me, but in some ways I don't even know who I am and what my realistic expectations of myself are.

I learned that I can help others, but I can't help everyone. I can give my kids love and care, but I don't have to give everything I am to them. There were sooooo many messages about the Savior and His need for us. It really renewed my testimony of a loving brother. I feel refreshed and ready to face my life on day and sometimes one step at a time. (End of my journal entry)

And if that weren't enough, soon after that I was watching the RS Broadcast with some of my amazing friends and Elder Uchtdorf's talk just felt so important to me. I was so excited to tell Zac about how much I felt the Savior's love for me and felt like He is truly aware of me and my struggles and triumphs. I felt and still feel so blessed and that I am so happy to be me just the way I am, because although I can continually try to be a better person, I am enough.

The last few weeks I feel happier than I have in months. I'm sleeping better, taking better care of myself, and really trying to spend more quality time with my kids. I know that life might not necessarily get any easier, because it feels so busy, but I am learning to be happy and remember to thank my Heavenly Father more regularly for the mountain of blessing we are given every day. I am so grateful for knowing who I am and why I'm here.

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