Some days just suck! I don't feel like I get discouraged all that much, but some days things just get to me. Today for example, I seem to just notice things a little more. Owen wants to do stickers, and William wants to slide down the toy ramp in the basement. So, they ignore me and each other and just do what they want to do. For hours. They really are loving when we are in their face or initiate games, but unless I make a huge effort or force them to play with me, they could just do the same things all day.
Then, I took William to the doctor today for a checkup and he is all over the place, and I know that a lot of kids are a little wiry, but William is wiry all the time. The boy is go go go all the time!And then when I told our pediatrician that he was diagnosed a month or two ago, he said he could already tell. And then if you try and break up Owen's routine, he flips out and it is exhausting and discouraging. Everyone has told us that it is a good sign when they fuss more, because that just shows their eagerness to communicate. Well, that's great, but I still don't have kids that talk. I have boys that take my hand and drag me EVERYWHERE. And although I am so grateful that they have found a way to communicate, it is tricky sometimes to get anything done unless you get out the stickers, bubbles, or ramp.
I feel guilty complaining, because I see our blessings literally every day, but I also just feel like it's all busy and exhausting ALL the time. Some days I just want things to be simple and easy and I know that no moms really get that, but I just so burnt out sometimes. And I keep getting excited about Christmas, but both our boys have their birthdays in December and I keep thinking they'll love this, and they either love it to the point where they fixate on it or they don't want anything to do with it. I really do want to be the mom that is happy and organized and loving most of the time, but some days I just feel really frustrated. I love my boys more than anything in the world, and I am so grateful that Zac is right by my side and willing to help with everything, but some days I just don't want to get out of bed.
The end
Hmmm. I'm thinking you need a spa day to go with your supermom cape! You still and always will rock. Here's hoping this week is better. :)
ReplyDeleteOh cuz, you truly are amazing. Children are hard, but when they also have other things going on, it can be even harder. I admire you so much for how you handle everything you have been given. You are a wonderful mother, and your boys are so lucky to have you. Keep you chin up, and if you feel the need to vent somedays, by all means, do it.
ReplyDeleteI know how it feels and trust me I get tired of being dragged around all day by my kid!! It's very wearing and frustrating! And I always feel bad because my kid plays by himself most of the time and I have to make a huge effort to get him to play with me for a mere 10-15 minute out of the day, and a lot of the time I just don't feel I have the energy to do that! Just take one day at a time, and you know what, if you aren't the 'perfect' mom some days, it's okay! It doesn't mean you don't love them or want to help them! Some days it's just really hard, so do the best you can, and if you're best isn't awesome that day, so be it! You still love them, they love you, and that's life! :)
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