Just so you know...

Well, we recently had an in home apt. for William (who is going through the same early stage program that Owen did), and while talking to our OT, she pointed out that there are some major red flags for William possibly being autistic as well. I was proud of myself for not crying until she left. And so, the next step is the official testing. There are 2 options for us at this point. They have Clinical Services that are available to us, where Zac and I would interview with them for 2 hours (answering questions and things like that) and then there is a week of testing and then two weeks later, we would know. Although, the initial interview would have to wait until Oct. 25th. (Their first availability). Our other option is a specialist in Ogden. Hour interview and then your life has a big change in front of it.

It is really hard to describe what this all feels like. Owen and William are soooooo different and so I just thought we wouldn't be doing all of this again. But, William's OT pointed out that when parents have one autistic child, that is what autism looks like to them. That is the norm and so anything different can't be autism. I had never thought about that. So, I started watching William very closely and started seeing the signs I maybe hadn't wanted to see. For example, he doesn't respond to his name, and won't sit on our laps unless he's tired or sick, he says mama sometimes, but other than that he is nonverbal, he isn't very interested in people...however, he and Owen are very different. Owen would play with the same toy for hours by himself, wouldn't want to be held when he got hurt and those sorts of things and William is the opposite. He loves to be held and snuggled with and is very aware of us and where we are.

All I know is that these are our children and just because it's hard and financially draining, there is nothing Zac and I wouldn't do for our boys. We love them and early intervention is the key and so, we will do the Up to 3 program, OT and Speech apts, meetings with specialist, classes, and anything else that we think will help our kids communicate and have happy, healthy, and fulfilling lives. It's interesting, I question my parenting style all the time, but lately I really think like I am doing everything that I can. And I am ok with that. Zac has been nothing but supportive and loving. He always looks for opportunities to show the kids new toys and games and just gives them unconditional love. I just have to say how lucky I am to be William's mother. He is giggly and happy and loving and warm and I can just tell that he is one in a million. I will keep everyone posted on the timeline for our testing and the results.