Change

I've decided that I have a hard time just sitting down and writing what I think about. It is much easier for me to post pictures of my kiddos and things like that. So, here I am getting out of my comfort zone. I am truly happy I would say 90% of the time and even if I'm not, I can usually find the good in life and in situations, but some days feel different. Some days feel like I hardly want to get out of bed and that I am just here. I sometimes feel like all life is, is butt wiping and making sandwiches and doing laundry. I know that I am blessed with amazing kids and a loving husband, a roof over my head, I have the gospel, I have good friends and family that are loving and supportive and an amazing ward family....and so I actually feel guilty when I have days like this.

It just seems like the projects just build and build and I feel like I am cleaning the same things all the time and by the time I can actually sleep, I am so excited to have time to myself, when I don't have to take care of anyone or put anything away, I just want all the me time I can get. I just don't know how people do it, other women have 4 or 5 kids and they seem to be involved in everything possible and they are domestic and just seem to have it all together...now, I am not stupid, I know that everyone struggles with different things and the grass always looks greener on the other side, but it feels a little hard to ignore sometimes.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say, just venting I guess. Sometimes I just feel like I need a change. Big or small...I just need a change.